My dirty cheap life

The biggest villain of Indian mythology must be having identity crisis when the world heard of some 5 or 7 headed cobras.

I seriously hoped of bumping into some alien during his regular visit to our planet. At the same time I started wondering about the dumb ass scientists at all the space centres of the world that why don’t they make a flying saucer for their space missions? Why rocket?

Let me tell you, I didn’t step out the whole day when the sun was most fierce and ready to hunt me down with its deadliest ultraviolet rays on a particular day.

I religiously followed and spent a fortune on further medical treatment when I tried hundreds of sure shot homemade remedies to lose weight and constipation. It almost made me a doctor now and seriously thinking of recover my money by giving a consultancy.

I didn’t know that I was working hard to help all the other economies but India.

I didn’t know all the celebrities have so much time to draft a very long letter to me about our culture, dangers of the society and many other.

I almost believed that the new 2000 and 500 rupees currency notes have a GPS chip. I was so hoping to hand them over to some of my defaulter clients so that the government could catch them. Alas!

I was seriously scared to take shit after eating Kurkure. What if the toilet pipe got jammed due to its plastic contents.

And I had to scrap my newly written script with a heavy heart in which the heroine took her revenge by giving Frooti to her rapists. Because I got inspired by the news of the soft beverage containing of HIV positive blood.

I started sweeping the floor in my office hoping that someday I would also become the prime minister when I saw a particular b/w picture of NaMo sweeping the floor. It’s true, no big dreams or good morphing artists for the middle class.

I didn’t eat and let anyone at home eat Chinese food for one whole week when NaMo himself appealed to ban Chinese. I read his signature too. It’s different that I had to eat it on next 5 weekends as a part of my son’s revenge on me when I found out that the PM gave a statement about that letter which was not a fake one.

I started admiring the hotshot leaders at the G-20 Summit being carefully listened by other big shot leaders only to be found out later that almost every country has its version of its respective leader in the middle and all others are listening to him or her.

I also mourned on the death of many actors and famous personalities for several days and later found them attending the TV shows or an award function.

I have been signing for more than 30 times to make our national anthem as the best anthem of the world. I am wondering when I still see it’s coming back to me for voting.

I was about to file a petition to form a force by combining all the God-men together so that our army could be given some well deserve break. These God-men and women could outpower the bombings, deadliest weapons and radio signal systems by sitting in their luxurious dens or having a private satsangs with their shishyagans.

I have seen the deadliest animals caring the weakest ones, part animal-part human, the golden temple in Amritsar lit with the lanterns, a shark on the streets during a hurricane and what not. I have learnt new and amusing facts in my 10 years life on social media.

I recently came to know how delicate our sentiments are and how people can kill over a simple message.

People!! Wake up!! They are making fools out of us and we are feeding their evil wills.

Nobody’s going to die for not forwarding a message. There are no aliens visiting the earth, no 5 headed snakes or no prime minister (no matter how powerful they are) could outrightly ban something and definitely on social media.

It’s called hoax and we Indians are the biggest victims.

Guys, internet is full of such fake news. Check Google and you’ll come to know the facts about it. Don’t spread any hoax news and don’t be a part of a big scams. We are a country with different cultures seamlessly weaved together. Let’s not destroy it. Nobody hates anybody so much that we are compelled to believe. Try and check the fact before sharing anything.

There are people who are putting Facebook and WhatsApp for good and productive use. Let’s not become someone who’s using the social media for some destructive cause.

Cheap internet doesn’t mean cheap mentality. Don’t get your hands dirty with such horrible game of fake news.

Please keep in mind that not everyone is as smart to identify the hoax news from real news. Please help them understand. People are dying because of such fake news. This is really getting serious. Nobody’s ego or purpose is bigger than someone’s life. Please don’t become a medium to spread such false message and create chaos.

We have lawmakers and law keepers at place. You are not the only one who’s responsibility to save this country. The leaders today are competent enough and so were the yesteryears’. They all must to follow a system that has been set by our constitution. The country is not run on our whims and fancies. They have better think tanks and data analysts than we are. Let alone the politics. Let’s accept that the country has progressed in these years of independence.

And who’s giving you this gyan? Those who keep on sending about honesty find every single occasion to jump the signals? Those who advice about taking care of their parents leave them at the old age homes? Or those who curse the independence day because it’s a dry day? Don’t let your social life affected by the Social media. Use it wisely. Use it carefully.

Above all our ancient culture, religious sentiments, all the gods, saints and the historic personalities are and were great. They are not so vulnerable that could be hurt or be maligned by mere words by some lunatics. You don’t be a vehicle to transcend some idiotic messages. They could act as as a wildfire.

Let’s be united and fight the grave danger of social media. Let’s be a great nation beyond hatred, castism, communal differences and politics.