The long story of short hair

Recently I took my son to a hairdresser for a new haircut. Normally, all the salons are dressed up in a way to attract its customers. The signboard and the displays assure you of the entire transformation of your looks. They display the success stories of their earlier experiments with the clients. The pictures show different hairstyles and me looking smart and handsome. Well, I was hoping the least of them in my son's case. It was expected to be a transformation, but in the reverse order.
My son had to surrender to one such hairdresser at his threading ceremony where he had to get his head shaved off as per the rituals. He did that bravely and sported that new look for a couple of months. Once he had his hair grown sufficiently, we got his proper haircut suitable to his thin face. My experience says that you need at least fifteen days to look better after your visit to a barber. At least I think so about myself and even with my son, Abir. In fact, my theory says that you need to have a perfect proportion of hair to suit your face - size & shape. Precisely, there's a monthly season of your best look. Like the moon it either grows or diminishes every day. The best look is the full moon and the day of your haircut is the no moon night. But hair keep on growing and one really can't have the worst or the perfect look all the time.
Well, I am talking here especially us, the middle class men, who like to call it a haircut in public, but we get them cu in reality. Nobody has a clue of a smart haircut after looking at our hair after cutting. We usually have holidays on weekends. The places we go are flooded with the similar kinds. Each salon (saloons that's what we call) has 2-3 hair dressers each. They all are fully occupied. We ask them of our turn and roughly it's always after fifteen minutes. In fact, without any mistake, they count their one minute for three minutes. It always takes more than 45 minutes. Finally our turn comes and we sit on the revolving chair that never revolves, covered in a damp apron. We get a chance to take a good look at ourselves. Slowly we start feeling that we look good in the present hairstyle and we don't need a haircut and as if sensing our mind, the hairdresser turns up and we lose that only chance to escape.
Almost all of us are so obsessed by the mushrooms or cauliflowers or broccolis that we suggest the barber to shorten the hair at the back of our heads and keep them long in the front. They are also so used to this demand, that they've already started working with the scissors on our locks in the front. We bid farewell to the long hair and after some time we realise that he's shortening them more than we had wanted. But the job's already done. And even if we dare to say, he silents us with the jargons like level, texture, etc. Or simply he blames to the shape of our head. Can you do anything about it? No, you can't. And you've already handed your head to him, practically. So, he goes on working as per his will. Once he's done, he picks up a huge mirror and holds it near the back of our head to show us how much he's listened to you. You are not much happy with your hair. Again, you cannot say anything. But he makes it up by tickling and scratching your head that he calls head massage. You feel better. (That's what he thinks.) You pay Eighty rupees and leave. The small hair particles start pricking. So, you have to rush to your home and wash yourself.
I have also had a word with the people who go to some expensive parlours. They told me that the experience was totally different there. They go by an appointment, so that they don't have to wait much - fifteen minutes and not forty five minutes. They have magazines to scan through (who reads these days?) and a television to watch. And being a unisex salon, they have better faces and occasional smiles to face. You are greeted nicely when it's your turn. They discuss your look and haircut with you. You are treated like a king. And the artists start working, not with scissors, but with clippers. You also feel nice being covered in a crisp and fragrant sheet. The lighting sets the perfect mood and the good quality mirrors show your face in the same shape and size, unlike the salons we visit. The hair artists work on your head gently. They talk only if you ask them to. Finally, everything's done and still you feel like the demand has not met yet. You could have looked better if you were listened to. But, it's too late by then and you end up paying a bomb for that look. 
I remembered all that and took Abir to a local shop. It was that perfect time of looks for Abir - the fool moon. It was only eight days ago when Deepali, my wife and I were discussing about his looks. He had started looking better. And then the next day, he came with that news, a bad one. He came home with a demand to get his haircut done. We were thinking like how come he came with such kind of demand. He never asked for anything like this before. But slowly he started spilling the beans and disclosed that it wasn't his demand origally. It was a warning which he had painted as a demand.
He was warned at his school to get rid of his crop. It was a straightforward warning first saying that if he doesn't then he won't be allowed to attend the PT class. (How I wish I was warned something like this in my school days!) And then he, along with some of the other classmates, were also advised that the growing hair eat the share of calcium in the body that is supposed to be expended in strengthening of bones. All the children were convinced and threatened at the same time. As a result Abir threatened us, if we don't get his haircut done, he won't go to school. Did we have any choice being the 21st century parents, ridden by guilt that we can't give him much and filled with insecurity of what would he do if he is not allowed in the school? No, we didn't. Hence, I was the one who took him to a salon.
There was already a victim who had surrendered his head to the craftsman. He was working on his hair. In fact the zero machine was mowing his head and shortening the length. The hairdresser was aware the exact length required for schools. (Was there any under the table handshake?) Thank goodness, the schools haven't started suggesting a particular salon for the haircuts. (This can be a good way of marketing for the salons, in fact. Think about it dear hairdressers and don't forget to send me the royalty if it works.) The hairdresser also told me that the teachers keep their palm on the heads of the students. If they can pinch the hair between their finger, then they are ready for harvest. Looking at the plain and silky texture at Abir's hair, I was so sad that he was going to part them. But I was helpless. The monthly season of the best look for my boy was about to be over.
I remembered the elders saying during my childhood an old Marathi proverb that loosely means 'Grow your wisdom and be a Swami Vivekanand instead of being a Dev Anand by growing your hair'. I mean, seriously? With due respect to Swami Vivekanandji, in fact out of that respect only, how can we become someone like him? Come on. Every person comes with a fixed amount of brain. At least, we don't have that kind of brain in our family. My father always opposed this kind of bullshit even being a teacher. He always encouraged me to grow hair. He used to argue with his fellow teachers who would punish the students for not keeping short hair. Even today, he says how can the length of hair measure the wisdom. Obviously, he was the most to be unhappy when he saw Abir in his shortened hair. He even says what's wrong in being Dev Anand. Someone who earned Rs. 35 a month as his salary once, became one of the Superstars of Hindi Film Industry. Why can't be like him if you are not cut out to be someone like Swami Vivekanand?
There was also a news about a teacher and her headmistress were sued as they made a student to go under scissors in the classroom. Can you imagine? She actually called in a barber in the school and got the haircut done. I was curious if the barber took an opportunity and mowed some more heads. She did this because the student didn't pay attention to repeated warnings by her. This wasn't a grave crime that she along with her senior was sued. But still, this is insane. Why teachers are so obsessed of short hair?
Jokes apart, but I alos never understood the relation of hair and discipline or hair and wisdom or hair and manners. What's so big deal? The gods kept long hair themselves. We've seen in the pictures. And we know that people in long hair look good. Look at the filmstars. Then why do they want us or the students look so bad in short hair. I honestly feel that no man, except for Daniel Craig, can look handsome in short hair. Daniel Craig doesn't belong to the planet anyways. (Please don't misunderstand me by my comments about this current James Bond even if I respect the Supreme Court's decision of the Act 377.)
I used to keep long locks and people who knew me then would still recall. But gradually my hair started calling it a lifetime and receded. Now, I can't even though I want to. In short, the life of hair is short in this century. I have started fearing that hair will be declared as an endangered specie after a few years looking at the growing number of bald people. So, let the children enjoy them till the time they can have them on their heads. Please please please, don't measure them by the pinch of your fingers, consider the looks quotient too. Let there be more Dev Anands too.